Return of the Jedi.

Yes, I am going back to Indonesia in 3 months. I got a call from my sister telling me that my Mom was hospitalized for couple weeks. One of the problems could be thinking about me too much, my sister said. So, instead of wasting my time here, I will go back. I hope it will help my Mom back to her fittest condition. Amiiin..

Looking at this pic make me feel humble and optimistic at the same time.

Why--------------------------------------

Why that black cloud come again
After some years without rain
'thought the sun was my friend
would never leave me bent

Why the faster I run,
the further we become.
it's like the sea water,
the more I drink the more I suffer.

O the Mighty One,
What have I done.
-----------------------------------------

Stress, Out!

Yup, actually these past several months I have been in a lot of stress. First, I haven't got any news in my job hunting process. Then, I had to go through some bumpy road on my relationship. During the process, I have a job but it's not exactly the job that I am comfortable doing it(I don't like aggresive marketing).

Thanks God, the last several weeks has been much better.
Now I can say that I am thankful to God that at least now I have a job to pay my bills and to save a little.

Plus, yesterday I got to talk to Eric Thurman, the Aerotek guy who couple months ago supposed to give me a contract engineer job for six months. He said there might be an opening after the holiday seasons. We'll see.

Then I've just talked to my family who are thinking that I should not waste more time doing sidejobs in the US and just go home instead, before I got too old and rotten in the States. :)
They told me it may be because I have the destiny to be closer to Rupiah than Dollar. hahaha...

Well, it's a very good feeling and comforting when you know that at the end of the day when you're going back from a battle, you have people who will be excited to see you, even if you lost the battle.

QUIET ST. LOUIS

St. Louis is very quiet now, more than two third of it's Indonesian population are out of town or out of country.
Yup, everybody either going back to Indonesia or going to Europe for vacation.
For everyone who are leaving, I want to say.. Have fun and Enjoy the Holiday!

Now I can HAVE STL all by myself. Ha!!
Well, of course I still have to share it with some people who are stil stuck here.
Poor people... :)

Chicago

Last night there was an old TV show that I watched, Married with Children, and it showed some shots of Chicago downtown.
It struck me when I saw Chicago.
Hmm.. I miss Chicago. I love Chicago, despite its harsh and cold winter wheather.
Now with the plan of going back to Indonesia in the next few months, it make it even harder to think about it.
When I am in Indonesia last time, I missed Chicago a lot.
Sooo many memories about that town.
Driving around downtown,
Rollerblading on the beach trail along Lake Shore Drive,
eating Indian, Pakistani & Afghani food along Devon Ave with the hard to beat price.
hanging out in Chinatown,
Dining at 3 o'clock in the morning in a restaurant that open from 6 pm to 6 am;
Going to Taste of Chicago;
Watching fireworks every Wednesday night and Saturday night in Navy Pier;
Watching fireworks on the cruise from the Lake;
Chicago Bears;
The snow, the wind, the suburban neighborhood, the people, the hotdog, the burger, Portillo's, Second City, Museums, The Loop, ...
Oh.. so many memories.
I love Chicago.

Gosh.. It will be hard to leave all that behind and start a new life in Jakarta, the City that actually did not give me good first impression and I've never want to live in it.

God wants to show me something???

These few weeks, I notice something 'differen't in my daily life.
Nope, not job. Not even jobhunting either.
for the last eight, nine, or ten weeks?? I have been dealing with people who are in relationship and it is as if God wants to show me something.
So here it is,
I sleep over Doddy's house for mmmmm... may be a good six to eight weeks. straight. So I know how he lives in a relationship.
then, I sleep over Ading's house for couple weeks now. Yup! the same thing. I gotta see how Ading and Vahn deal each other everyday.
Even,
during snow storm, I slept in Manda's house, I see Mbak Hanny and Mas Oki's for several days.

I know.. I know.. I may dramatize things, but the deeper I am thinking about it, the more I am sure God wants to show me something, because I always live in a house with someone who are in relationship.

Now I wonder.. what is He trying to show me?

Cold.

St. Lois has been cold since last week. some friends didn't have power in their house for several days so they had to sleep over other friends' house who have power.
(My note: at Adit's house there were Mas Oki, Mbak Hani, Hanna, Jibran, Ading, Phon, Budi, Joseph).
It was fun aniway, we got to hangout under one roof for several days.

Moreover, the snow storm made the trees beautiful.
It was one of the most beautiful winter I have spent in US.
all branches were covered with glazing ice instead of snow, so on sunny day those trees looks like a bunch of glazing plastic trees.
Soooooo beautiful!

Strange, but it's true.

This past month, is a very interesting month in the love life of my good friends and my self.

Two of my very good friends in Edwardsville, one was starting a relationship, while another.. broke up with his fiance, after some years relationship.

My very good friends in St. Louis, two were starting a relationship,
while another one.. broke up, after some years relationship with his gf.

Then I got news from my ex that she is going to get married. They've been together since seven years ago.

Mine, there is pretty much a turning point of my relationship. Things have change, of course nothing will stay the same at all time, but it's a drastic change and I have to deal with it. I feel that I won't find the true answer til I see her.
I really hope that things will get better...
I really do.