I'm scared!

Having only about two months to stay in the US, it has been an up and down feeling. Some regrets, some excitement.

I am excited to see my family, friends, and my cats.
I am excited to find job, and live as career man.
I am excited for the opportunity to grow, without the glass ceiling of being 'an alien'.

But,
there are some regrets.

I regret that I didn't try hard enough to speak English correctly.

I remember my friend reminded me "Come on Anggit, you should try to speak English correctly. This is the best place and time to exercise your english".
More often than not, I am just an outspoken guy. I say what in my head without thinking or forming it in my head before I say it. I was affraid if I have to think/form the words before I say it, I will lose my spontaneity.
He was right. Now I regret it. I knew I could've done it better.

I regret for all the time I let down my family & friends in the US.
I regret for not spending enough quality time with my family & friends when I have the choice to do so.
I regret for not using enough resources and access to information, books, and anything that I could have done to hone my skills and knowledge.

Sometimes, I'm scared for what I am going to go through in Indonesia.
It has been six and a half years I am in the US!!
Four of them I lived with my American family!
So many US customs/things that I found it unusual when I just got here, it became part of me.
I am comfortable changing my 'modes' of jokes, conversation, and the way of thinking when I am around my American family and friends.
I love the sport (football), the food (burger, steak), the crisp air during winter time, the snow, the squirrels, the beautiful spring and fall season.

I guess I am in my 'comfort zone' now.
It's scarry. Too scarry to move on from my comfort zone.